The Turkey Sub is Four!

Should I be embarrassed to admit that I haven't blogged about this grand event yet because blogger changed its dashboard and every time I started to do it I got super stressed and spazzy about figuring it out? I should? Oh. Well, in that case, just kidding. I've been.... out of town?

Anyway! On May 12th our lovely Leah Lou Mae reached an all-important milestone---her 4th birthday! Apparently back in the stone age children were only considered viable members of society once they reached the age of 4 because it was at that age that they were first perceived to be able to outrun several of the man-hunting predators of that time era. Isn't that interesting? Oh really? Cause I just made it up, suckas!

BUT, the Turkey Sub DID indeed turn four. I didn't make up that part. And this is what she looked like on that blessed day....

Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful? I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that nearly everything about 4 year old Leah makes me slap happy and swoony. She is funny and smart and sassy and the biggest ham on the planet. She is the most social little butterfly that ever was, and even has one of those 60's television show "special connection" relationships with the grandpa that lives next door... whose name is Ceasar... and who doesn't speak English... but whenever she sees him out watering his plants she runs as fast as she can out the door and clutches onto the fence from atop our flower pots and gives him life advice. Like Wilson from Home Improvement. And he loves her and helps her practice Spanish. And it's my very favorite.

Anyway, we celebrated in traditional fashion this year with a little party and lots of loot. 

And singing cards from grandmas that are serious cat nip for children...

Leah's favorite present was this new scooter. She rides it everywhere, at all times of the day. Even into the bathroom. Not kidding. 

Our neighbors are SUPER stoked about Leah's new scooter, too. I promise. 

It should be noted that in the 2 weeks since Leah's scooter arrived, her skills have improved significantly and she is now grinding and popping wheelies.... See?

And then of course we were off to "the restaurant." Which is code for Panera Bread, the Turkey Sub's favorite place to eat and the only restaurant in the world as far as she is concerned.... 

This photo was taken right before an ambitious bus boy asked me if I could "get my kids to settle down." Apparently Panera is gettin' classy, folks. I told him to shut his trap and get back to work! OR I got all stammery and nervous and said sorry five times in rapid fire. 

The culmination of the whole event was at preschool the next week when Leah got to sit on the "birthday pillow" during worship and be serenaded by the whole group. You can't tell in the video but she was so moved by it all that at the very end she shed a couple of tears of joy. At the end, her teacher presents her with a special birthday book, but you won't be able to make it out because she is a low-talking-spell-casting-toddler-whisperer. 

Please pardon my over-enthused, proud-parent singing in the background. 

Her birthday was picture perfect... Oh, little Leah Lou. How did you get to be so big and smart and FOUR? Your mother is panicking. I love you to the moon. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

EASTER 2012 Y'ALL!

I think blogging does my family more harm than good. I blog under the guise of keeping a family journal but that's all bull-hooey. Because my children turn into rabid beasts when I open the computer, heaving their bodies against mine repeatedly and trying to slam my laptop shut. As I'm typing this, Leah is sitting on my shoulders, bull-riding, and Eve will only be occupied until she tops off the little pile of m&ms I strategically placed in the middle of the kitchen floor for her to find...

But, I soldier on... for the children.

'Twas a glorious Easter this year. Holidays are most excellent in that they provide you with constant leverage against your children.

Ah ah ah! The Easter Bunny's watching!

I wouldn't do that if I were you... the Easter Bunny might decide to skip our house this year!

If you don't knock it off, your dad and I are gonna eat the Easter Bunny for dinner!

That last one is my very favorite and is especially effective at stopping the Turkey Sub in her tracks.

Having a major hand up on your kids aside, watching them get caught up in the magic of it all is pretty much what my dreams are made of.

Let's start at the beginning, a very good place to start... Dyeing the eggs. I didn't really take any pictures of the finished product because this was a hands on project for me--but here are the darlings while their eggs were soaking.

Baby Eve has starting saying "Cheeeeeeeeese!" whenever the camera comes out so most of the photos I have of her capture this little underbite "mid-cheese" pose.

Sunday morning all dressed up before church (these pictures are not in order). Both girls picked out their own dresses this year--well, Eve's is the one she decided to chew on so I took it as her "picking" it. I think they did well for themselves.

Take a look at this girls mane these days. Naturally she thinks she is Repunzel and every time I mention cutting her hair she recoils in disgust. She told me the other day I was trying to take away her magical powers. This prompted an impromptu performance of "Mother Knows Best."

On Sunday morning the girls woke up early to search for their easter baskets. I love how I keep acting like Eve knew what was going on. She didn't...

But she did enjoy the fruits of Leah's labor...

Surprisingly, Leah's favorite part of it all was a letter from the Easter Bunny. She couldn't believe he left her a note---with paw prints and all.

After church we spent a lovely Easter dinner with friends.

On Friday, we were pleasantly surprised to find out Sam had work off---so we finagled a few other dads taking the day off so we could go to the NYC International Auto Show. John, Sam and James pictured here waiting for the potty...

Leah was especially smitten with this cute little red and white fiat...

... and the viper... yeah.

Before the auto show we had a little easter party/egg hunt at John and Marcia's house... it was beautiful and wonderful and a perfect photo opp. I told Eve to do her best Billy Idol... She floofed up her hair and nailed it.

The matriarchs...

Sam giving Leah a little egg hunting advice...

Our respective delectable offspring. You'd think it was difficult to get them all to sit there so nicely while we took this photo---and it was... until I threatened to whip up a little EB stew...

Happy Easter, friends! I hope yours was a lovely as mine! Now excuse my while I go pile-drive a three year old.

BLOG FAIL

I can't help myself. I've lost the will to live. Well, not really live. Mostly just blog. I still blame Tony (see post below) because most days even my finger muscles are sore... so we'll just settle on it being his fault and move forward.

On the bright side, Leah watches me exercise everyday like it's some sort of freak show. I really love it. I guess that's what I get for doing it in my underwear. It's pretty, folks. She can't help herself. Today, while I was happily engaged in plyometrics, I heard her start giggling from her little perch on the back of the couch. Secretly, I knew the day would come when she would have to start commentating, but I ventured to ask her what was so funny anyway. She was delighted and said, "Mama, you get all wiggly and shaky when you do exercises!"

Let's not pretend the word she was looking for wasn't JIGGLY. Cause it was. You know it, and I know it.

But alas, she calls me out when I'm cheating, "Mama, that's not what they're doing on the TV!" so I'll keep her around to keep me honest.

Anyway, I just wanted to post a couple of pictures and videos to stay relevant to those who care. And to remind you of how cute my kids are...

Exhibit A:

She's practicing her "beggar face" before heading out to make some loot panhandling on the streets. She takes the good people of New Jersey to the cleaners...

If only they knew the truth...

And this is the only view I've had of this little heffa for weeks.

Well, and this:

She takes her food consumption seriously. Like her father. But I think we can all agree that Leah's ad-libbed song about loving us in the background, and subsequent calling out of Sam for not saying it back to her is the real treat of that video.

Oh, and this video makes me want to burst. (Please excuse my squeaking and squealing):

One of our daily Olan Mills photo shoots, courtesy of Leah (post-exercising...forgive me):

There's a slight chance the novelty of picture-taking wore off for Leah a long time ago and I'm the one still forcing it.

No mama! I don't want to take any more pictures of you! Please!

Just take the @$!& picture! Here's some chocolate...

Just kidding. But seriously.

And finally, these two lovebirds cut a serious rug at our ward dinner dance a few weeks ago...

The truth is, we all cut a rug. And afterwards, felt a little embarrassed about our bafoonery and lack of inhibition in general...

Especially Sam. Because he ended up in ladies' underwear.

We Lost February, Folks...

...to this man:

Know who he is? If you do, you know he is to be loathed and feared. And if you don't, well, you're lucky... and I'll tell you. His name is Ony-tay Orton-hay. Written in a little language I made up so every weirdy who googles his name won't end up on my blog. And if you're weird enough to google his name in pig latin then, well, we're supposed to be friends anyway, so, welcome.

Anyway, Tony here is the guru behind the P90X fitness program. And I've been letting him kick my flabby kiester every single day (except Sundays, of course) for the last month. And whenever I'm anxiously engaged in skinnifying, it takes so much of my physical and mental focus that I fail at every other part of life. Especially blogging.

So anyway, that's my excuse. And I'm sorry.

There are a few things that can't go undocumented about February, though, and one of them was our 6 year anniversary! Hollllaaa!

Sam has had to be out of town for our last two anniversaries, so, naturally, this year we planned up a day so crazy and romantic that we're fairly certain people would have paid cold hard cash to be able to watch it. We were even going to leave our kids with OTHER people. Dream big, folks!

But then, a roided-out head cold ravaged our little household and pretty much lifted it's leg all over our little scheme.

Not to fear! Feeling a little pep in my step on the morning of our big day, I asked Sam if he wanted to try to do anything.

He sat there contemplating for a second and then responded all hopeful-like:

Hmmmm... you could shave your legs?

.................................................................................

Ummm. Keep dreaming, Sam. It's winter.

BUT the sexiest wife of the year award goes to ME. Obvi. And I'm happy to report that my efforts to keep his expectations nice and low are really paying off, my friends.

After all that exhausting brainstorming we decided we were too sickly and pathetic to do anything so we stayed in and tried to out sniffle each other. You may think I'm joking but every time I blow my nose, Sam starts to cough and hack and sputter to try to prove he's more miserable than me and therefore, still should be waited on. This little back and forth charade generally escalates and then ends with me faking a seizure.

Anyway, the point is, that stupid cold killed our anniversary. And it stuck around so long that on Valentine's Day we played a little game called, "Pretend it's not Valentine's Day!" Sam's pretty good at this game--he's played it before.

Leah made this cute card for Sam while he was at work--it says "I love you, Daddy" on the front and on the inside she had me write while she rattled off everything she loves about him. Cutest little Valentine on the block.

And then we had pink eggs and heart shaped sausages and V-day candy for dinner--and then I took pictures of my little herd, stuffed and all snuggled up together. That's Sam's "fat n' happy" face.

The Saturday following V-day, Sam and I had a little make-up anniversary date... and it can best be summed up by my facebook status the day after:

"Yesterday, for our anniversary date, Sam and I played a rousing, trash-talking game of tennis... then we went grocery shopping. If you're thinking that doesn't sound romantic, think again... because he smacked my butt, like, three times."

Secretly it was really fun and just what the doctor ordered.

Warning! OBLIGATORY PUBLIC PROCLAMATION OF LOVE AND ADORATION!

Sam is still my very favorite. Happy six years! Again!

Moving on...

On February 19th, Sam turned 32 years old! (See why the documentation of this month was so necessary/stressful??) And we celebrated with another smokin' hot date (to the gym!), food and presents galore. And carrot cake cupcakes...

Happy Birthday to Sam! Seems like just yesterday I was holdin' you in my arms, rocking you to sleep...

Lately, Leah has been practicing her photography skills. Every day, at least once, she positions Baby Eve and me in a formal Olan Mills pose and takes our picture. Here is the latest:

Pretty much the only reason I'm telling you this and posting this picture is because I actually have make up on in it and I feel it's important that my posterity (and you) see evidence of me out of my big blue nighty.

Meanwhile, this one has been staying up all night and then keeling over at random intervals during the day. I love her new schedule!

And finally, our fall-weather winter went rogue for a few hours and made all of the Turkey Sub's dreams come true....

I ventured out to capture some of the magic and was immediately betrayed...

Seems Sam used his time out in the snow with Leah to his advantage--behold his cold-hearted little assassin.

And there you have it--our fabulous February... now I'm off to pump some iron. Because simply focusing on this post for this long has threatened to shove me right off the wagon.

But do me a favor, would you? If I start posting my workouts in my facebook status, put me down. Thanks. Luff you.